The Stereotypical Political

I woke up thinking friends and family tedious, so I wrote this. -_- Actually, I wrote this a while ago. Still, I'll probably have no friends soon. First, I wanted to get this out of my head. The ideas stop clattering around in there once they're elsewhere. Second, the list below represents only the worst of both respective parties and both sides only see the worst in the opposing side, meaning: this is how they see each other. This is how I see them both, honestly. I, of course, am biased as I lean liberal, but I hate and oppose both of these ridiculous political parties. They're both, at their core, childish and more worried about the party reputation and their 'team' winning than they are about helping the country. I'm not positive about the original date of this writing, but it was sometime close to then.

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The stereotypical Conservative:

- Say they want less government spending but vehemently oppose lowering our biggest (by far) discretionary expense: military

- Say they want small government and less regulation but are obsessed with regulating:

Genitals

In bathrooms

In sex

In marriage

Schools - By only teaching the-

history that they want (claim the Civil War wasn't caused by Slavery, etc)

science that they want (more on this later)

Religion - They only want freedom of religion if you’re Christian; ban all Muslims from entering and the rest in a registry

Drugs that are statistically (much) less harmful than alcohol, even when banning alcohol would be blasphemous for them

- Cites the constitution for everything but are statistically the largest blatantly racist group in America, ignoring one of the most important tenets, “all men created equal”.

- Also, statistically the largest group advancing the idea that women are not equal to men.

- Claims they only want security and to protect themselves and families and hence NEED the most effective killing machines they can get their hands on and yet:

Rarely have fire extinguishers in their homes

Rarely have security alarms installed in their homes Likely doesn’t regularly change smoke alarm batteries

Typically are the types more likely to start fights

Chides liberals for wanting "safe spaces"

Translation: they don't give a shit about security. They enjoy the violent fantasy of shooting people and (the age-old classic) it makes their dicks feel bigger to them. More like "IN-security"... haaaa...

- Claims that nearly all of the mainstream media is biased and then:

Watches Faux News, objectively the worst of all of them by nearly any metric you can think of besides (unfortunately) viewership.

- Judges anyone who doesn’t follow the bible, yet cherry-picks/ignores what they want to see/not see from it themselves. Divorce, stoning to death victims of rape, the bible's claims that witches and demons are real, to not to wear different types of cloth at the same time, to not plant 2 different crops next to each other, to not work on Sunday, to not touch pig skin or eat pork, and much more.

- Full of ideas that they shout loud about yet do the opposite. Republicans somehow try and blame Democrats for homeless veterans yet have opposed most bills to try and remedy that situation. They oppose allowing refugees in the country because American woman and children are homeless yet want to gut the social programs designed to help those people. They say people need to lift themselves up by the bootstraps yet want to leave, decrease, or even abolish the minimum wage in the face of one of the highest (if not the highest) cost-of-livings and dismal dollar-values in American history.

- Loves claiming things that are theirs by virtue of their religion. Christianity didn't invent marriage, sex, morals, charity, a womans body, etc, yet these are all things that the stereotypical Republicans either claim ownership of and/or seek to enforce their ideals of these things onto others.

- Loves looking down on others, which is why racism, sexism, homophobia and religious discrimination is rampant in this party, as well as the unending whining about millennials being whiners.

- Hates science - ignores that the vast majority of scientists agree that climate change is happening and that human actions are to blame, that intelligent design is definitely not science, that the big bang theory is very well supported, that evolution is extremely well supported, how birth control works, ignores that abstinence only sex ed absolutely does not work.

- Relating to both their distaste for evidence and their blind faith in religion regardless of fact, they often preach that ‘abstinence only’ sex education works even while they believe Mary was a virgin. (lol)

- Loves Trump because he ‘tells it like it is’ and doesn’t bother being ‘politically correct’ and respect his ‘don’t be so sensitive’ rhetoric to support that tactic. This fuels their arguments that liberals are all whiners that throw tantrums when they don’t get their way. However, if you say happy holidays to them instead of merry christmas, they want you fucking dead. A red Starbucks ‘holiday’ cup is the most inflammatory thing in their lives in their view and they never shut the fuck up about it, as though it matters even a little bit. What other people do in their own homes, who they love, who or what they worship, even whether to light a plant on fire and inhale the smoke - all things that do not affect them in the least - are the things they cry about when they don’t get their way. If something someone chooses to do doesn’t affect you or other unwilling parties, you have absolutely no justified right to attempt to control those actions.

- They don't care about truth. They care about what they are "supposed to" believe by judgement of their peers and will never admit when they're wrong

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The stereotypical Liberal:

- They don't care about truth. They care about what is "cool" by judgement of their peers and will never admit when they're wrong. Often pridefully claims that they’re open minded when really they’re just gullible and enjoy feeling like people around them aren’t as “enlightened” as they. They often use the phrase “you're just close minded” as a way to chide people who would rather pay attention to evidence instead of what the perceived “cool” thing to think is. It seems no small measure of luck plays a part in what they believe is true, because if they hear of one view before the another and then choose to believe it, fact checking is unlikely to be a priority and they won't change their mind even if they then hear the 2nd, more factual view.

- Loves thinking they're better than others, which is why pompous judgmental conceited tools are rampant in this party.

- Justifiably bitches about the inaccuracy and factual nuclear lagoon that is Fox News, then spends 2 hours on conspiracy websites and videos actually believing the bubonic plague of misinformation.

- Hates science - ignores that the vast majority of scientists agree that vaccinations save lives and do not cause autism, that western medicine for the most part works very well and almost always better than the ancient remedies (from which modern medicine was derived from), that there has been no factual evidence to conclude that aliens are abducting people, that astrology can be fun for some people but it’s complete bullshit and should be thought of in the same way as Chinese fortune cookies, that while there is definitely corruption in the government, it’s not trying to kill or mind control you, that “chemtrails” is completely unsubstantiated and is nothing more than an extremely unlikely shot in the dark guess that is ‘fun’ in an X-Files way to believe, that jet fuel CAN melt steel beams if the heat is contained (containment + airflow = fucking hot; i.e.: "forge", see also: "thermodynamics") , that consciousness is not something that can come inherently to matter, that humans eating animals is completely natural and normal and generally healthy and there is nothing ‘inharmonious’ or otherwise inherently wrong with it and admitting that does not make it an endorsement of animal cruelty no matter how much you want try and convince people otherwise, and that EVERYTHING PHYSICAL IN THE WORLD IS A FUCKING CHEMICAL! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ‘CHEMICAL FREE’ EXCEPT LITERALLY NOTHING. EVERY ELEMENT IS A CHEMICAL AND EVERYTHING IS MADE OF ELEMENTS!

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The stereotypical Libertarian

- Deluded themselves into believing taxation is theft. - Has trouble remembering City and national leaders names.

- Would rather go back to trading furs for their food than continue letting government manage money. - Still fueled by anger

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The stereotypical Democratic Socialist

- <bias>

- Fueled only by empathy and doing what is right for the world, just like the Jedi.

- Birds are on this side, just as the Eagles were to Gandalf.

- That's basically it, actually.

- </bias>